Written by Pat Bailouni
How You Can Stop Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviour Instantly...
Believe it or not, self-sabotage doesn’t actually exist...
Every human being makes decisions based on what they perceive will give them the greatest advantage in that particular moment (the advantages may be unconscious).
We only label it ‘self-sabotage’ when we compare what happened to a fantasy of what we wished had happened.
Let me give you a quick example:
I worked with a trading client who thought he was ‘self-sabotaging'.
After asking a few good questions we actually identified that he was acting exactly how he was programmed to act.
He was making decisions according to an unconscious set of beliefs he had injecting from his father:
“To make money you have to work long & hard hours”.
Now when he would make ‘easy' money in the markets from his living room, there was an internal conflict.
As a result, at times he would act to ensure he wasn't profitable ('self-sabotage') to be congruent with the belief he injected from his father.
And then was beating himself up (and labelling himself 'self-sabotaging') when he later compared his actions to what he wished he was doing in the markets (making 'easy' money).
When he came to realise that what he initially labelled ‘self-sabotage’ was actually just him acting and making decisions according to his belief-systems and programming, there was a true realisation.
If you’re labelling yourself ‘self-sabotaging’, it’s wise to follow the following steps:
- Identify the specific trait, action or inaction you are doing (or not doing) that you are labelling ‘self-sabotage’.
- Identify the advantages to you doing the trait, action, or inaction identified above. What benefits or services are you getting from doing it? (You wouldn't be doing it if there weren't unconscious advantages there).
- Keep looking for advantages until you are certain you understand your motive behind the ‘self-sabotaging’ behaviour. Hold yourself accountable.
This will give you a level of awareness and understanding about why you’re doing certain actions. A lot of the time this level of awareness also allows you to free yourself from repeating the 'self-sabotaging' cycle.
MORE ABOUT PAT BAILOUNI
Pat Bailouni is a mindset consultant (trained Demartini Method Ⓡ Facilitator) and a financial market trader. He uses his understanding of human behaviour and psychology to help traders & investors gain an unfair advantage in the markets.